"This is what the Lord says: 'Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord.'" (Jeremiah 17:5, NIV)
It sounds harsh to say that I trust in no one especially when I have parents, siblings, and a partner who would be there for me through thick and thin. I would do the same for them. I would like to emphasize though, that trust does not equate to love. As humans who fail (Jeremiah 17:5, Psalm 27:10), it is important to learn to love within boundaries.
The Word of God says,
"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on the these two commandments.'" (Matthew 22:37-40)
Notice there are two seperate requirements for both respectively.
We are to love God: With ALL our soul and ALL our mind.
We are to love our neighbor: As we love ourselves.
Why can't we love our neighbor with all our soul and all our mind and why can't we love God as we love ourselves.
Two reasons:
1. God should be first in our lives. He should be put above all things in all things. He isn't like anyone or anything else, and should always hold His own place in our lives — the highest place.
2. We are human and we fail. It is inevitable because of our flesh's desires versus our spirit's desires. Our hearts are decietful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9), so we must constantly train ourselves to submit and obey God and His Word. As humans, our flesh naturally makes us want to go against His Word. We fail in loving others often because we fail in love ourselves. The good news is that God knows this already. What He smiles down upon is us relying on His strength to help us and making the decision to obey His commands. He is pleased when we are intentional and try our best.
Society today doesn't have the best track record when it comes to mental health. And according to the National Institute of Mental Health, in recent years, we have seen an increase in mental illness, especially among young adults. So, it's safe to say that a lot of people may not qualify in the "I truly love myself" department. So many people just aren't satisfied with who they are, so they seek to change some part of themselves to better fit the image they have in their head; some people going so far as to change their entire gender identity to fit their feelings. There are a lot of factors that come into play here. Identity isn't a gender issue, it is a find Christ issue.
"'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is beneficial. 'I have the right to do anything'—but not everything is constructive." (1 Corinthians 10:23)
We shouuld be picky about what we allow ourselves to say and do and have. If we love ourselves, we should want to take care of our body by eating well, drinking water, exercising. All very basic things, but they play a big part long-term. We should be putting boundaries on ourselves every day—I am not going to stay up past this time. I am not going to eat this kind of food. I am not going to hang out with this person, etc. You can absolutely do these things, but it may not be good for you.
So, if we put boundaries on ourselves because we love ourselves and want what's best for our own mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health, we should also set boundaries toward others as well. Always taking Scripture into account. In this case, Matthew 22:39. Limit what others do and say to you. You allow those things. Say, "I love you, but can you refrain from speaking like that around me?" Say, "I love you but please don't talk to me that way." Say, "I love you, but can you refrain from acting like that around me?" Say, "I love you, but I can't allow you to treat me that way."
We often have the wrong view of love and think that because we love someone, we should let them overstep limits we have set, or even eliminate a boundary line entirely, but that is quite the opposite of love. That is neglect.
Take a look at yourself and develop boundaries because they are healthy. Boundaries are needed.
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